eternityvoyager's Xanga

The Rainy Day - Longfellow

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:46:21 GMT

The Rainy Day

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust more dead leaves fall,.
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold and dark and dreary.
It rains and the wind is never weary.
My thoughts still cling to the mouldering past.
And youth's fond hopes fall thick in the blast.
And my life is dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart and cease repining
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining
Thy fate is the common fate of all
Into each life some rain must fall
Some days must be dark and dreary.

Solitude - by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 15:02:16 GMT

Solitude

by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;

Weep, and you weep alone;

For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,

But has trouble enough of its own.

Sing, and the hills will answer;

Sigh, it is lost on the air;

The echoes bound to a joyful sound,

But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;

Grieve, and they turn and go;

They want full measure of all your pleasure,

But they do not need your woe.

Be glad, and your friends are many;

Be sad, and you lose them all,—

There are none to decline your nectared wine,

But alone you must drink life’s gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;

Fast, and the world goes by.

Succeed and give, and it helps you live,

But no man can help you die.

There is room in the halls of pleasure

For a large and lordly train,

But one by one we must all file on

Through the narrow aisles of pain.

Christianese Translated

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 19:14:50 GMT

Originally from http://www.becausepeoplematter.com/marks_weblog/2008/01/christianese-tr.html

I found it somewhat funny, but more so saddening.
How important to address double talk so as to live with singular purpose.

Joe

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The following is a list of phrases in the impenetrable language of "Christianese." For those unfamiliar with this strange dialect, below you'll find a helpful Christianese-English Dictionary so that you can find out what your Christian friend is really saying to you. I first read this on Amber Cox's site, who had shared it from Tim Shraeder's site. Whoever created it - well done.

1. I'll pray about it = NO!
2. We need to pray for so and so = Guess what I just heard?!
3. I'm waiting for God to open some doors = I'm living in my parent's basement.
4. God gave me a word for you = I have advice to help you with your disaster of a life.
5. I'm going to have my quiet time = Leave me the heck alone!
6. God is good = My life sucks.
7. Bless his/her heart = What an idiot.
8. I have the gift of discernment = I can judge people without even talking to them.
9. I was having fellowship with them = We had beer and pizza and watched the game instead of going to church.
10. I'm saved by grace, not works = I can do whatever the heck I want.
11. She caused me to stumble = What a skank.
12. I kissed dating goodbye = I couldn't get a blind date, literally.
13. Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouth = I can't believe you said the real curse word!
14. I don't mean to judge but... = I'm going to judge.
15. I'm dating Jesus right now = Are you kidding? I'm way out of your league.
16. God wants me to take some time off from this relationship = I met someone else and I'm too coward to break up with you.
17. I'll pray about marrying you = NO!
18. God told me that we are supposed to get married = Maybe you'll say yes if God is behind this.
19. I'm fasting = Your spiritual life is miniscule compared to mine. Try to keep up.
20. God has called me to minister to her = She's really hot.
21. I think you should pray about it = You'll see that I'm right.
22. We've decided to court, not date = My parents have a death grip on my life.
23. Courting = Homeschool dating.
24. Lord willing = My plans are His plans.
25. Take this with a grain of salt = I'm about to really offend you.
26. I'm feeling convicted about this = One day my actions might change too!
27. Have I offended you? = Why are you treating my like garbage?
28. Who wants to pray? = I don't want to pray right now.
29. Jesus turned water into wine = Jesus turned water into grape juice. (Southern Baptist Dialect)
30. Jesus turned water into wine = I can drink whatever I want. (Presbyterian Dialect)

Why I haven't really written

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 09:02:55 GMT

I used to spent a lot of time writing about everything from theology, my thoughts about life (mostly morbid or despondent ones), funny anecdotes, etc, but found I haven't really spent writing about my own life in the past few months.

I think I haven't been writing much because for me, writing can be an unhealthy coping mechanism for dealing with reality. Additionally, I can tend to write with a despairing edge, but I don't think it's as appropriate as I once thought. Lastly, I want to be heard, but I don't want to be judged, but I fear that the opposite is more true from this particular kind of forum. I am not heard, but I am being judged; it's perhaps the nature of the beast. If I wanted a place where I could be heard and not judged, I should go to a 12-step meeting somewhere, but even then...

So what have I been up to? I sort of restarted this blog about 2 years ago after quitting my job at ARAMARK. I still remember moments from that day so clearly: sitting in the office with my manager and supervisor telling me I had to leave immediately, writing my first public entry for this blog at my home...the feelings of being fired even though honestly it was me quitting...hard to believe so much time has passed.

Here in the Philippines, I reflect mostly on perspectives and people that have been of great impact to me in the past few years. Some I reflect on with wonder and thanksgiving, and some I reflect on with maybe a little more wisdom, and some I reflect on with anguish. Time truly is not a healer, but perhaps as some have said "a revealer of how God heals."

Recently, I've been really missing my family. I love my family I think more than any group in the world. They aren't perfect, but I love them soooooo much. I wish they could accept what I'm doing as a missionary, but they receive me as their son, brother, child. There is so much grace in that. I really think family is one of the most sacred institutions established by God, despite how screwed up they can get.

Lately, I've also been wondering what I am to do in the long run. Following a calling is fine: it was a calling that brought me half way across the world several times on a shoe-string budget and a cartload of prayers...I still have strong memories of staying at home in my parents house watching TV and basically not wanting to leave. God pulled me out of there like an impacted wisdom tooth. I often think of myself as "the reluctant missionary" and yet, God's callings have lead me to exciting and healing places and times for which I'm grateful.

I can't say I'm exactly where I feel I want to be, and yet I can't say that I really know where I want to be. I believe I'm going to Asia in the long run as a missionary, maybe teaching about addiction, maybe doing counseling, maybe more. I hope to go to school some more, pick up a masters degree in something (maybe an MFT degree) and be something that I can use to help other people. I hope someday to get more theological training, particularly focusing on Church history and the Scriptures. To be honest, I've been thinking of several places that all have their strengths, but for now I want to work on paying my debt.

I also hope to be doing something that can generate a living income so as not to burden anyone for needs I or my future family might have. At this point, I don't even have the beginnings of a future family, but I want to keep my options alive.

What this all looks like, beats the heck out of me. When will all this happen, God only knows.

I'm nearly 30 years old. I'm in a far different place than I ever imagined I would be. It's hard to tell how much of it is due to calling and how much of it is due to my screw ups. I know in the bigger picture, that's not how best to look at things, but still, if I live, I err, and folly follows along. I know this much: I have screwed up more than I ever thought or hoped, and unearned mercy comes my way so much as well I can't say why, but I'm grateful, even when I'm being a drama king and flipping out over all my foibles...truly where sin abounded, grace abounded...the "all the more" part, I have yet to see. I'm longing to see restoration more than could ask for or imagine.

My soul is tired. It's been tired for a long time. I don't know exactly why. Inexpressible griefs are one thing I think that tire my heart. Lonliness as well. I am longing for a home where I can rest...

Until next time.

Joe

Kierkegaard - on untruth and what seems to be to be following the call of God in love.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 09:08:17 GMT

Dang. I read this years ago, and even today, I have to read it out loud for it to make any sense to me.

What I understand, however, I appreciate.

-----------

Soren Kierkegaard

On the Dedication to "That Single Individual" [Note 1]

Translated by Charles K. Bellinger

My dear, accept this dedication; it is given over, as it were, blindfolded, but therefore undisturbed by any consideration, in sincerity. Who you are, I know not; where you are, I know not; what your name is, I know not. Yet you are my hope, my joy, my pride, and my unknown honor.

It comforts me, that the right occasion is now there for you; which I have honestly intended during my labor and in my labor. For if it were possible that reading what I write became worldly custom, or even to give oneself out as having read it, in the hope of thereby winning something in the world, that then would not be the right occasion, since, on the contrary, misunderstanding would have triumphed, and it would have also deceived me, if I had not striven to prevent such a thing from happening.

This, in part, is a possible change in me, something I even wish for, basically a mood of soul and mind, which does not produce change by being more than change and therefore produces nothing less than change; it is rather an admission, in part a thoroughly and well thought-out view of "life," of "the truth," and of "the way."

There is a view of life which holds that where the crowd is, the truth is also, that it is a need in truth itself, that it must have the crowd on its side.[Note 2] There is another view of life; which holds that wherever the crowd is, there is untruth, so that, for a moment to carry the matter out to its farthest conclusion, even if every individual possessed the truth in private, yet if they came together into a crowd (so that "the crowd" received any decisive, voting, noisy, audible importance), untruth would at once be let in.[Note 3]

For "the crowd" is untruth. Eternally, godly, christianly what Paul says is valid: "only one receives the prize," [I Cor. 9:24] not by way of comparison, for in the comparison "the others" are still present. That is to say, everyone can be that one, with God's help - but only one receives the prize; again, that is to say, everyone should cautiously have dealings with "the others," and essentially only talk with God and with himself - for only one receives the prize; again, that is to say, the human being is in kinship with, or to be a human is to be in kinship with the divinity. The worldly, temporal, busy, socially-friendly person says this: "How unreasonable, that only one should receive the prize, it is far more probable that several combined receive the prize; and if we become many, then it becomes more certain and also easier for each individually." Certainly, it is far more probable; and it is also true in relation to all earthly and sensuous prizes; and it becomes the only truth, if it is allowed to rule, for this point of view abolishes both God and the eternal and "the human being's" kinship with the divinity; it abolishes it or changes it into a fable, and sets the modern (as a matter of fact, the old heathen) in its place, so that to be a human being is like being a specimen which belongs to a race gifted with reason, so that the race, the species, is higher than the individual, or so that there are only specimens, not individuals. But the eternal, which vaults high over the temporal, quiet as the night sky, and God in heaven, who from this exalted state of bliss, without becoming the least bit dizzy, looks out over these innumerable millions and knows each single individual; he, the great examiner, he says: only one receives the prize; that is to say, everyone can receive it, and everyone ought to become this by oneself, but only one receives the prize. Where the crowd is, therefore, or where a decisive importance is attached to the fact that there is a crowd, there no one is working, living, and striving for the highest end, but only for this or that earthly end; since the eternal, the decisive, can only be worked for where there is one; and to become this by oneself, which all can do, is to will to allow God to help you - "the crowd" is untruth.

A crowd - not this or that, one now living or long dead, a crowd of the lowly or of nobles, of rich or poor, etc., but in its very concept [Note 4] - is untruth, since a crowd either renders the single individual wholly unrepentant and irresponsible, or weakens his responsibility by making it a fraction of his decision. Observe, there was not a single soldier who dared lay a hand on Caius Marius; this was the truth. But given three or four women with the consciousness or idea of being a crowd, with a certain hope in the possibility that no one could definitely say who it was or who started it: then they had the courage for it; what untruth! The untruth is first that it is "the crowd," which does either what only the single individual in the crowd does, or in every case what each single individual does. For a crowd is an abstraction, which does not have hands; each single individual, on the other hand, normally has two hands, and when he, as a single individual, lays his two hands on Caius Marius, then it is the two hands of this single individual, not after all his neighbor's, even less - the crowd's, which has no hands. In the next place, the untruth is that the crowd had "the courage" for it, since never at any time was even the most cowardly of all single individuals so cowardly, as the crowd always is. For every single individual who escapes into the crowd, and thus flees in cowardice from being a single individual (who either had the courage to lay his hand on Caius Marius, or the courage to admit that he did not have it), contributes his share of cowardice to "the cowardice," which is: the crowd. Take the highest, think of Christ - and the whole human race, all human beings, which were ever born and ever will be born; the situation is the single individual, as an individual, in solitary surroundings alone with him; as a single individual he walks up to him and spits on him: the human being has never been born and never will be, who would have the courage or the impudence for it; this is the truth. But since they remain in a crowd, they have the courage for it - what frightening untruth.

The crowd is untruth. There is therefore no one who has more contempt for what it is to be a human being than those who make it their profession to lead the crowd. Let someone, some individual human being, certainly, approach such a person, what does he care about him; that is much too small a thing; he proudly sends him away; there must be at least a hundred. And if there are thousands, then he bends before the crowd, he bows and scrapes; what untruth! No, when there is an individual human being, then one should express the truth by respecting what it is to be a human being; and if perhaps, as one cruelly says, it was a poor, needy human being, then especially should one invite him into the best room, and if one has several voices, he should use the kindest and friendliest; that is the truth. When on the other hand it was an assembly of thousands or more, and "the truth" became the object of balloting, then especially one should godfearingly - if one prefers not to repeat in silence the Our Father: deliver us from evil - one should godfearingly express, that a crowd, as the court of last resort, ethically and religiously, is the untruth, whereas it is eternally true, that everyone can be the one. This is the truth.

The crowd is untruth. Therefore was Christ crucified, because he, even though he addressed himself to all, would not have to do with the crowd, because he would not in any way let a crowd help him, because he in this respect absolutely pushed away, would not found a party, or allow balloting, but would be what he was, the truth, which relates itself to the single individual. And therefore everyone who in truth will serve the truth, is eo ipso in some way or other a martyr; if it were possible that a human being in his mother's womb could make a decision to will to serve "the truth" in truth, so he also is eo ipso a martyr, however his martyrdom comes about, even while in his mother's womb. For to win a crowd is not so great a trick; one only needs some talent, a certain dose of untruth and a little acquaintance with the human passions. But no witness for the truth - alas, and every human being, you and I, should be one - dares have dealings with a crowd. The witness for the truth - who naturally will have nothing to do with politics, and to the utmost of his ability is careful not to be confused with a politician - the godfearing work of the witness to the truth is to have dealings with all, if possible, but always individually, to talk with each privately, on the streets and lanes - to split up the crowd, or to talk to it, not to form a crowd, but so that one or another individual might go home from the assembly and become a single individual. "A crowd," on the other hand, when it is treated as the court of last resort in relation to "the truth," its judgment as the judgment, is detested by the witness to the truth, more than a virtuous young woman detests the dance hall. And they who address the "crowd" as the court of last resort, he considers to be instruments of untruth. For to repeat: that which in politics and similar domains has its validity, sometimes wholly, sometimes in part, becomes untruth, when it is transferred to the intellectual, spiritual, and religious domains. And at the risk of a possibly exaggerated caution, I add just this: by "truth" I always understand "eternal truth." But politics and the like has nothing to do with "eternal truth." A politics, which in the real sense of "eternal truth" made a serious effort to bring "eternal truth" into real life, would in the same second show itself to be in the highest degree the most "impolitic" thing imaginable.

The crowd is untruth. And I could weep, in every case I can learn to long for the eternal, whenever I think about our age's misery, even compared with the ancient world's greatest misery, in that the daily press and anonymity make our age even more insane with help from "the public," which is really an abstraction, which makes a claim to be the court of last resort in relation to "the truth"; for assemblies which make this claim surely do not take place. That an anonymous person, with help from the press, day in and day out can speak however he pleases (even with respect to the intellectual, the ethical, the religious), things which he perhaps did not in the least have the courage to say personally in a particular situation; every time he opens up his gullet - one cannot call it a mouth - he can all at once address himself to thousands upon thousands; he can get ten thousand times ten thousand to repeat after him - and no one has to answer for it; in ancient times the relatively unrepentant crowd was the almighty, but now there is the absolutely unrepentant thing: No One, an anonymous person: the Author, an anonymous person: the Public, sometimes even anonymous subscribers, therefore: No One. No One! God in heaven, such states even call themselves Christian states. One cannot say that, again with the help of the press, "the truth" can overcome the lie and the error. O, you who say this, ask yourself: Do you dare to claim that human beings, in a crowd, are just as quick to reach for truth, which is not always palatable, as for untruth, which is always deliciously prepared, when in addition this must be combined with an admission that one has let oneself be deceived! Or do you dare to claim that "the truth" is just as quick to let itself be understood as is untruth, which requires no previous knowledge, no schooling, no discipline, no abstinence, no self-denial, no honest self-concern, no patient labor! No, "the truth," which detests this untruth, the only goal of which is to desire its increase, is not so quick on its feet. Firstly, it cannot work through the fantastical, which is the untruth; its communicator is only a single individual. And its communication relates itself once again to the single individual; for in this view of life the single individual is precisely the truth. The truth can neither be communicated nor be received without being as it were before the eyes of God, nor without God's help, nor without God being involved as the middle term, since he is the truth. It can therefore only be communicated by and received by "the single individual," which, for that matter, every single human being who lives could be: this is the determination of the truth in contrast to the abstract, the fantastical, impersonal, "the crowd" - "the public," which excludes God as the middle term (for the personal God cannot be the middle term in an impersonal relation), and also thereby the truth, for God is the truth and its middle term.

And to honor every individual human being, unconditionally every human being, that is the truth and fear of God and love of "the neighbor"; but ethico-religiously viewed, to recognize "the crowd" as the court of last resort in relation to "the truth," that is to deny God and cannot possibly be to love "the neighbor." And "the neighbor" is the absolutely true expression for human equality; if everyone in truth loved the neighbor as himself, then would perfect human equality be unconditionally attained; every one who in truth loves the neighbor, expresses unconditional human equality; every one who is really aware (even if he admits, like I, that his effort is weak and imperfect) that the task is to love the neighbor, he is also aware of what human equality is. But never have I read in the Holy Scriptures this command: You shall love the crowd; even less: You shall, ethico-religiously, recognize in the crowd the court of last resort in relation to "the truth." It is clear that to love the neighbor is self-denial, that to love the crowd or to act as if one loved it, to make it the court of last resort for "the truth," that is the way to truly gain power, the way to all sorts of temporal and worldly advantage - yet it is untruth; for the crowd is untruth.

But he who acknowledges this view, which is seldom presented (for it often happens, that a man believes that the crowd is in untruth, but when it, the crowd, merely accepts his opinion en masse, then everything is all right), he admits to himself that he is the weak and powerless one; how would a single individual be able to stand against the many, who have the power! And he could not then want to get the crowd on his side to carry through the view that the crowd, ethico-religiously, as the court of last resort, is untruth; that would be to mock himself. But although this view was from the first an admission of weakness and powerlessness, and since it seems therefore so uninviting, and is therefore heard so seldom: yet it has the good feature, that it is fair, that it offends no one, not a single one, that it does not distinguish between persons, not a single one. A crowd is indeed made up of single individuals; it must therefore be in everyone's power to become what he is, a single individual; no one is prevented from being a single individual, no one, unless he prevents himself by becoming many. To become a crowd, to gather a crowd around oneself, is on the contrary to distinguish life from life; even the most well-meaning one who talks about that, can easily offend a single individual. But it is the crowd which has power, influence, reputation, and domination - this is the distinction of life from life, which tyrannically overlooks the single individual as the weak and powerless one, in a temporal-worldly way overlooks the eternal truth: the single individual.

Note The reader will recall, that this (the beginning of which is marked by the atmosphere of its moment, when I voluntarily exposed myself to the brutality of literary vulgarity) was originally written in 1846, although later revised and considerably enlarged. Existence, almighty as it is, has since that time shed light on the proposition that the crowd, seen ethico-religiously as the court of last resort, is untruth. Truly, I am well served by this; I am even helped by it to better understand myself, since I will now be understood in a completely different way than I was at the time, when my weak, lonely voice was heard as a ridiculous exaggeration, whereas it can now scarcely be heard at all on account of existence's loud voice, which says the same thing.

Memories

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 05:29:46 GMT

Several years ago, I lost something very precious to me, a dear friend. The loss is something I feel everyday. Before that time, just a few days, I wrote this devotion.

Though I would easily judge it with new eyes, perhaps less dramatic, surely more particular in wording, teaching, and spelling, I am displaying it as is as a memory, unchanged (except for some formatting).

A conversation with Abraham, my roommate and fellow staff, reminded me about it.

May it bless you.

Joe
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2 Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."

9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. 10 Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. 11 But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"

"Here I am," he replied.

12 "Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

15 The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time 16 and said, "I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, 17 I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, 18 and through your offspring [b] all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."

What is dearest to you? You don’t have to think too hard about it. Family probably? Money? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Let me tell you plainly: those are not bad things to have. I don’t even need to qualify that; those things are good and sometimes even necessary. They bring us joy, especially loved ones. That’s why when we lose them, it causes grief like no other.

If you are familiar with this story of Abraham, Isaac and God, you will remember that Abraham was promised by God to bear a son in his old age, even when his wife was barren and Abraham was 100 years old. I think last month, Danny from our church shared with you this firm reality: nothing is impossible for God. Just as God said and it happened, Isaac was miraculously born to this family, the only son to this very old couple; a true blessing and treasure, I’m sure some of you can relate.

Now here in this short bit of scripture, stunning and painful, Abraham is told by God: sacrifice your only son, who you love. And I think we can relate in part to the horror: you’ve given up something valuable to you, perhaps never to see it again. Hopes, dreams. Sometimes it’s a person, sometimes it’s your pride, sometimes it’s your doubts, your painful past even. You had to give them up because it was the right thing to do, the best thing to do. Abraham accepted this: obeying God is the right and best thing to do. And it probably hurt like hell, just like sometimes it hurts us like hell. It’s so hard.

Nevertheless Abraham went to do what God told him. He prepared the altar, he laid his son on the altar, and ready to kill him, knife in hand raised to kill, God stopped him, and because he obeyed, God gave an oath that he would bless him incredibly.

God was testing him: Abraham, will you serve your own desires or will you serve Me? Is your son your treasure, or am I your treasure? Ever have to weigh things like this in your heart? Is there anything you, even with great difficulty, willingly said “God I will choose you; you are my treasure”?

This is different than a god who meets our expectations in giving us everything we want. May God help us not so be foolish that he does things the way we plan. And I can guarantee you Abraham didn’t give a even a passing thought about what God was planning through this because God is God. He was happy to have his son back, and above all he honored God, who he loved more than his son, at the same time.

Not only that, but God spoke clearly to Abraham of the blessing that came because of his obedience. Look how amazing it is! ALL THE NATIONS WILL BE BLESSED though his offspring. Scripture says to those who believe in God through the Lord Jesus Christ that we receive every spiritual blessing in Christ. Just as Abraham believed God, so those who believe in God today through Jesus receive God’s blessings. To those who treasure God above everything, even though they may suffer just as Jesus did, so too, they receive blessings from God, but perhaps most importantly, they bring God joy, and God is happy to bless them. Just as scripture says “Without faith, it is impossible to please God.”

Abraham did have a glimmer of hope though, even through the hard time. At the same time God asked him to sacrifice his son, Abraham remembered God’s promises to him, despite what God asked him; the bible says:

17By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had received the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, 18even though God had said to him, "It is through Isaac that your offspring[b] will be reckoned."[c] 19Abraham reasoned that God could raise the dead, and figuratively speaking, he did receive Isaac back from death.

What about you? Anything keeping you from believing God? Maybe you think you don’t need him? I often have doubts in my own heart too, of things God has said, sometimes out of fear, sometimes because it doesn’t work out the way I hope or plan. Anything seem unbelievable about Christianity to you? Maybe it’s your situation in life; you feel gypped. You’re lonely, you have family problems, personal problems, you aren’t in life where you thought you’d be. Maybe you wished you hadn’t been born.

God is very gracious. You can tell him anything, even tell him you don’t believe these things, but ask him to help you see and He will. Feel screwed by life and by God? Keep asking, keep seeking, keep trying to understand. Tell him how you feel. Listen to the words of Jesus, tell him you don’t understand them, you don’t know how to obey them but you want to. God wants to bless you and show you that even if life is a living Hell, you can be happy and at peace because God is good and God is your God. And he promises to save you and take you home to heaven when you trust Him to save you from your sins. And in heaven, there will be no more tears, no more pain, no more suffering, no more hurt, no more death. There will be joy everlasting, because God is pleased to give his kingdom to those who love Him above all.

Amen.

Alive in the World - Jackson Browne

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 16:11:54 GMT

I have no idea what inspired the writing of this particular song. Last year while working in the rehab center, a coworker asked me to listen to this song in terms of recovery from addiction.

When I think of it in that way, it becomes such a beautiful song to me.

If you can listen to it, it's a very tender song.
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I want to live in the world,
not inside my head
I want to live in the world,
I want to stand and be counted
With the hopeful and the willing
With the open and the strong
With the voices in the darkness
Fashioning daylight out of song
And the millions of lovers
Alive in the world

I want to live in the world,
not behind some wall
I want to live in the world,
where I will hear if another voice should call
To the prisoner inside me
To the captive of my doubt
Who among his fantasies harbors
the dream of breaking out
And taking his chances
Alive in the world

To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world

With its beauty and its cruelty
With its heartbreak and its joy
With it constantly giving birth to life
and to forces that destroy
And the infinite power of change
Alive in the world

To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world
To open my eyes and wake up alive in the world
To open my eyes and fully arrive in the world

Faithfully - Journey

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 18:38:26 GMT

One of my favorites.
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Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sendin' all my love
Along the wire

They say that the road
Ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line
Its been you and me
And lovin' a music man
Ain't always what its supposed to be
Oh girl you stand by me
I'm forever yours...faithfully

Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you

And being apart ain't easy
On this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy
Of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me
I'm forever yours...faithfully

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Faithfully, Im still yours
I'm forever yours
Ever yours...faithfully

Existential Titbit

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 06:03:16 GMT

After some escapades tonight and finding myself overwhelmed by social fears and anxiety, I found myself looking into how to overcome fear. It led me to a Seinfeld episode in which George comes to the conclusion that his life sucks because of his choices and he decides to start doing the opposite. Apparently in the episode, his life gets a lot better.

Turns out, this seems to relate to a form of therapy called paradoxical-intention. It's pretty interesting, actually.

Long story short: the founder of this therapy is Viktor Frankl, one of the people we studied in my CPAC class. Fascinating man: survived the concentration camps of Nazi Germany and became a pioneer of one of the major schools of thought about psychology. He wrote a book called Man's Search for Meaning.

I want to listen to this book, but here is a quote from it that is enriching to me like spiritual food:

"Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible." - Frankl

Dang. :P

Found this on StumbleUpon. Hilarious.

Fri, 22 May 2009 10:33:56 GMT

These are couplets taken from rhymezone.com where the have an annual competition for writing the most romantic first line and the most unromantic second (Valentine Slam). Here are a few of my favorite entries...

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love for you is like a rose
One that's dead and never grows

Those words I spoke were true and grand
But "I love U2"? I meant the BAND

Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.

You are my sun, my moon, my star
I wish to see you... from afar

To tell you what you mean to me
Would get me bleeped on live TV

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love for you will never die
Unless I meet another guy

If I were a dog and you were a flower
I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower

After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between my eyes

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"